"Fucking asshole," my wife muttered under her breath. I looked up from my intense game of X-Com 2.
"Babe, are you on Facebook again? You promised-"
"Listen to what this shit stain posted," she hissed. "'When u drop the dime to pick up the penny'. Then he's got this picture-"
I put my laptop aside to come up behind her and started rubbing her shoulders as she ranted on about her ex husband. Gabby and I had been married for almost two years now, and she hadn't been with Brian for four, but they still taunted each other on Facebook and via text messages. By now it was a predictable pattern - Brian would post some douchey meme about how #blessed him and his new wife were, Gabby would go off and explode, ranting and raving until she calmed down; then she'd promise to block his number and delete her Facebook account, and it would be quiet for another month or six weeks until she went back on her word and the whole thing started over again.
Tonight, something was different; whatever Brian had posted, it had her even more worked up than usual. I personally didn’t care for Brian either - he seemed like a mean, dumb, arrogant assweed - but what I was reading over her shoulder didn’t look any worse than usual.
“I hate to see you upset,” I told her as she angrily scrolled. “We talked about this, right? You were supposed to just unfriend him-”
“Fucking asshole shit-fucking shitbag,” Gabby grumbled, not listening. I tried again:
“Honey, stop. You’re just making yourself upset. I want you to stop doing this, okay? How long are you going to torture yourself looking at this shit?”
“You’re right.” She stopped scrolling, leaning back with a sigh and rubbing her face. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll delete it.”
“And you won’t add him again?” I asked hopefully. “Right? Gabby?”
“You know,” she started slowly as some idea came over her. “Maybe I should just have it out with him.”
“What?”
“That’s it!” she yelled happily. “That’s it! I’ll fight him!”
“What?!”
“And you can come along and fight his new wife -” I stopped rubbing her shoulders in surprise, staring at her in shock as she swiveled the chair around to face me, overjoyed with her idea. “That’s perfect! I’m going to message him right now. We’ll sign up for self defense classes, and we can train-”
“Babe,” I pleaded as she spun back around to send her ex-husband a private message challenging him and his new wife to fight us. “Gabby, wait! This is crazy!”
“Our place or his place? No, it needs to be somewhere neutral. We’ll rent a gym or something. Now, what should we wear? Underwear? Swimsuits? We’ll start naked!” she cackled.
“Gabby- “ she wasn’t listening. There was no stopping her; before I knew what was happening she’d set up a fight with Brian and his new wife Francesca for six weeks from now. Before that, though, she signed us up for self-defenses classes and started dragging me to the gym. We focused on the basics - working on our endurance and strength, learning how to block and take a punch, getting your weight into a hit, simple grabs, throws and submissions. Two weeks before the fight, it was time for us to take each other on, both to get some experience and to try and locate anything we needed to work on while we still had enough time to do so.
Like the big showdown we were practicing for, we’d be starting naked. We cleared the guest bedroom of the furniture, put down exercise mats and set up a camera (to review the fight footage later) and stripped down. I got an eyeful of my wife’s nude body as she turned to face me. Even before we’d started training she’d been kind of fat fit, and her month of intense workout had transformed her to, I guess, thick fit - still considerably overweight, but a lot of the extra pounds she was carrying were now her huge tits, big ass, and the thick muscles of her limbs. I’m five ten and she’s five eight, but she probably outweighed me by at least fifty pounds (I’m built pretty thin). She caught my eye and smiled, tucking a stray strand of her long, shaggy red hair behind her ear. She kind of looked like Merida from Brave if she gained a bunch of weight and got ripped (uh, and was a real person); her hair reached down past her natural, drooping breasts, and her face has somewhat sharp features - big, light green eyes, a long elegant nose, a large mouth, and a small pointed chin. Her face is round, although it's hard to tell under all of her hair. Her most striking feature was definitely her eyes, which she liked accenting with a hint of eyeliner. For our fight she'd applied a little more makeup, waterproof rouge and lipstick. I'm guessing it made her feel confident; she looked great at any rate.
"You ready, babe?” she called across the mats. “Remember, I'm not going to hold back, and I don't want you to either."
"Ready."
She put her hands up in a boxer’s guard and I copied her stance. She closed throwing a full-power right hook at my face. I was pleased to discover my training, however brief, had instilled some useful instincts in me as I darted my head back, feeling the wind from my wife's passing fist on my face. I came back with my own quick left, slamming a fast straight into my wife's stomach. She grunted with the impact but came on still, grabbing my shoulders; I tried to back up, but this was a mistake as she yanked me forward, slammed a knee strike into my stomach. I managed to avoid bending over only by leaning against her, wrapping my arms around my wife's body; she did the same to me and the next thing I knew she had me locked in a strong bearhug, crushing my midsection with her arms.
"Try and get out," she barked. This was good advice; I was already having trouble breathing as she worked the hold. Knowing one of her weaknesses, I reached into her armpits and started tickling her, and she released me with a shrieking giggle. "Stop!" she squealed. “Stop it!”
"No rules!" I reminded her. She turned and actually ran away from me, and for a minute I chased her, wiggling my fingers and yelling "I'm gonna get you!" She stopped dead and I ran into her back, surprised, bouncing off and taking a few sloppy steps back to avoid falling down. She turned to face me, grabbing at me with a roar; I ducked around her arms, coming in and landing a crisp side kick in her stomach. She flinched, covering the spot with one hand, and I decided to try a fancier move, locking my hands behind her head, planting my foot in her stomach and throwing myself backwards; she went over me with a yell, landing hard on her back. I hopped to my feet, but she was a little slower sitting up.
I walked over to her, feeling like I was doing great and earned a little treat; I reached down, getting a firm two-handed grip on her hair, then pushed forward, forcing my cock between her lips. She stared up at me as I fucked her mouth, then reached for me; I thought she was going to push me away, but she just braced her hands on my hips.
Damn, this felt great! After maybe 30 very enjoyable seconds I decided I should stop here; I’d had my fun, and this was going to be a very short fight if I spurted in my wife’s mouth and left myself unable to continue. But when I tried to pull out my wife used her grip to hold me where I was and started giving me a blowjob, her lips bobbing back and forth on my shaft. Oh, shit.
Despite my dominant stance, she had me where she wanted me now, and I couldn't just back up away from her as long as she had that strong grip on my hips. I took a desperate chance, waiting until she was bottomed out and then darting forward; she gagged, giving me just long enough to grab her wrists and pull her hands off me, then back up, my dick popping out of her mouth with a lewd schlerk. Gabby wiped her mouth as she got up, shaking a finger at me.
"Almost had you there, bucko!"
"Almost, though!" I yelled, charging her, my fists swinging. I remembered my training, trying to use quick jabs to get her hands out of position, but it was a little hard to concentrate with my cock radiating an aching urge to cum, and my wife caught a slightly too slow right in the palm of her hand; I stared at her in shock, and she floored me with a full-power left straight, her fist exploding on my face. The next thing I knew I was on my back staring up at the overhead light. I looked to my left and saw my wife getting ready to drop one big thigh across my throat. I sat up just in time, and she ended up slamming her ass into the floor with a loud yell; the mats no doubt cushioned the blow a bit, but this still looked like it hurt. We were both a little slow to get up, me still a bit groggy from her punch, and my wife rubbing her sore ass.
We closed, and I knew enough that I had to use my speed; my wife was stronger than me, and in a slugfest she’d lay me out quick. I stayed at long range, flicking jabs at her, managing two or three quick punches in the time it took her to throw a single one. I quickly learned the hard way that I had to protect myself - her slower punches were much stronger, and one left jab to my stomach was enough to convince me that I had to make sure she couldn’t get any more solid hits on me. I faded back to medium-long range, letting my wife throw punches I ducked or weaved around, coming in and peppering her with jabs before retreating; I couldn’t crack her guard yet, but I was making her move her hands and feet constantly, and I could see her getting sweaty and frustrated after a few minutes. I decided to see if I could get her angry and to make a mistake.
“Getting tired, hun?” I darted in, throwing a left at her chin she barely swatted away. “Looks like you’re all sweaty.” I aimed a right at her tummy she took on her forearm with a grunt. She changed tactics, grabbing at me; I ducked backward under her arms, but she started aggressively following me around the room. I knew it was bad news for me if she got her hands on me and tried to back her off with a kick, but she slapped it away and came in close, managing to get a strong grip on my right wrist. She used this to pull me towards her, aiming a clothesline at my jaw; I ducked, going past her, but she yanked on my arm, spinning me around and back towards her. This time I couldn’t get out of the way and her forearm slammed into my chin. I managed to stay standing, but she easily picked me up off my feet; she ran me into a wall, releasing me at the last second so her arms wouldn’t get crushed. My back slammed into the wall and she smashed into me right after, knocking the wind out of me; she took a step back as I slowly slid down to a sitting position, my face level with her crotch.
Well now. She started drawing her right leg back, for a knee strike or a kick, but I stopped her cold as I leaned forward and attacked her pussy with my mouth. I heard her gasp and I grabbed her hips, holding her in place as I ate her out. At first she just reached down to hold on to my shoulders; I thought she might let me finish her right here, but after a bit she came to her senses, pushing me away from her and backing up. I stood up, smiling at her as I licked my lips.
“Almost had you, bucko,” I teased.
“Yeah,” she admitted. “I’ll have to be more careful!” She threw herself at me with a scream, trying to grab me; I ducked around her arms again and landed another side kick into her midsection. This time she braced and took the hit with a grunt. I aimed my next kick low, my foot coming around behind her left knee. She braced again, but there was no way to take this one safely; her leg buckled and she went down to one knee in front of me. I stepped forward, looping my left arm around her head, pulling her up to her feet; I took a deep breath and tried out a DDT, throwing myself backwards, bringing my wife with me. This seemed to work pretty well as the top of her head slammed into the floor, and she rolled over on her back with a moan, covering her face. The mats didn’t seem to have helped her much as she was slow to get up, rubbing the impact spot before getting her fists out in front of her.
We closed and she made another attempt to grab me. Feeling quite confident, I made to go around her hands and kick her again, but she surprised me; I got around her arms easily enough, but she dropped her left hand and caught my ankle before I could land the kick. She pulled and I went backwards with a yell of surprise, my back and the back of my head smacking into the floor. My wife still had a strong grip on my ankle, and she used this to roll me over onto my stomach, sitting down on my back in a single-leg Boston crab. She must’ve been practicing this one as she applied it well; even though I had my arms free to push down against the floor, I wasn’t strong enough to power up out of her hold. For a moment she didn’t crank the hold on too hard, I think waiting to see if I was going to be able to get out; when it was clear I couldn’t, she applied her real attack, keeping my right leg high up in the air with one hand, the other one grabbing my cock, which was sticking straight out behind me.
“I think I got you now, bucko,” she told me. “Come on, see if you can escape, or it’s all over!”
“Fuck,” I groaned into the mats. Powering out hadn’t worked; what else could I do? Without any better idea, I started crawling towards the nearest wall. It was maybe a dozen feet away, but it seemed much further as I slowly pulled us towards it. Gabby braced her feet on the ground, slowing my progress to, well, a crawl; the only good news was that she wasn’t working the crab too hard, attacking me with pleasure instead of pain. The bad news was she was pretty good at the handjob she was administering, and I realized with a panicked gasp I wasn’t going to make it; I still had eight feet to go and I could feel myself getting pretty close as Gabby’s soft, insistent hand kept working my shaft.
I only saw one chance now, giving up my crawl and laying on my chest. My wife noticed me not moving, and I could almost hear her purring as she went to finish me off. I was counting on her letting her guard down; either she would and I could get away, or she was about to end me with her handjob.
I took a deep breath, feeling her grip on my ankle loosening; I took my chance, pushing myself forward as fast as I could, hoping to catch her by surprise and escape. It worked; she yelled “Hey!” as I shot out from under her, rolling to my feet. She was slow to realize what was happening; I backed up and charged, and she only managed to turn to face me, taking the full impact of my tackle as I got my shoulder into her stomach, taking her down to the floor with me on top of her. I tried to apply a grapevine, a useful-seeming move I’d learned, but my wife was overcoming her shock and figured out what I was doing; before I could entwine my legs with hers and push them apart, she locked her thighs up around my midsection in a bodyscissors.
“Try and get out of this, hun,” she purred, pouring on the pressure. I reached behind me and grabbed her ankles; at the best of times pulling her legs apart was going to be difficult for me, and at this angle I had no chance. Could I flip around? Before I could try she grabbed me with her arms, pulling my face between her sweaty tits, locking her arms behind my head in a strong breast smother.
I tried not to panic; between her boobs cutting off my airflow and her legs squeezing the life out of me, I’d have to get out of this fast or not at all. I managed to get my arms underneath her body and my own legs under me; I roared into my wife’s breasts as I managed to stand up, legs shaking with exertion, taking my wife with me. I got her up to waist height and then slammed her down, the impact breaking both her holds. I rolled off her, panting.
“Damn, babe. I didn’t think you were really gonna get out of that.”
“Thanks,” I wheezed, still greedily sucking down air. She tried to roll over on top of me and pin me, but I pushed her off me, backing up and getting to my feet.
“Can’t blame me for trying,” she smiled. “Anyway, I want to work on my boxing now.”
“Okay,” I gasped, still trying to catch my breath. I couldn’t tell if I was running out of gas and this was going to be it or if I’d be able to recover, but I knew if she got a few good hits in it was lights out of me anyway, and I got my hands up in a defensive boxing stance. Gabby came at me with controlled power, throwing bombs at my face and body, but trying to keep them short and fast enough so that she didn’t leave her guard totally flapping open. Speed and range were going to keep me safe here, and I backed up, letting her hit air with a frustrated grunt, then came in on her, drawing her guard low with a left aimed at her tummy before turning her head with a right hook. She came back with an overhand punch that almost took my head off; instead of throwing another, she took a step back, breaking contact.
“Listen, can you try to bust my boobs?”
“You want me to hit you in the chest?”
“Yeah, I know that dickshit is going to try it, so I want to be ready. And I’m gonna try and get your cock. Okay?”
I looked down at my hard prick, swinging in front of me. I really didn’t want to do this, but she had a point; her ex was just the kind of asshole to go hunting her tits, and although I didn’t know anything about my opponent, it seemed like defending against getting punched in the dick was a skill I’d need to have, and who better to practice it with than my wife? So I lunged at her throwing jabs at her tits. They were big targets, but Gabby protected them well; she managed to her hands up and take a few straight punches on her hands and forearms, then went for her own counterpunch, darting her left fist at my crotch. I turned my right side slightly back, taking the punch on my inner thigh; I thought I saw my opportunity to get a solid hit into her chest, but she blocked my hook, intercepting my forearm with her own.
I changed tactics, tossing a few more straights she blocked, hoping to catch her off guard, before I came in close and began hooking my punches around her arms. She saw the first one coming too late, her eyes widening in surprise; she tried to brace, but I could tell I’d hurt her as my right fist slammed into her left tit, smashing it sideways, my wife gasping in agony. She tried to come back at me with a hit aimed at my crotch, but she was slowed by the fresh pain, and I easily stepped away from it, coming back with an uppercut. My left fist exploded under her right breast, and she screamed as her big tit shot upwards, smacking into her face. She backstepped with a moan and I kept right on her, slamming two quick hooks into her boobs, then a straight as her hands dropped, feeling my knuckles mash her fat breast against her ribs. She desperately clinched me, wrapping her arms around my body, trapping my own arms at my sides; she didn’t squeeze, just leaning against me, panting and trying to recover. I didn’t know what to do; my arms were trapped, but my wife was stronger than me, and I couldn’t see how to get out of this if she kept my arms pinned. I had to just let her hold me and catch her breath; after she’d recovered a little she pushed me away and got her hands back up.
This time she focused completely on defense; I came at her every which way I could think, but no matter how I tried to tag her tits, she had her hands there, or dipped side to side, or swayed backwards. I figured she was waiting for her chance to counterpunch, and realized I might have to give it to her to crack her guard; I was just wasting energy as it was, and the damage she’d inflicted on me was catching up with me. I took the risk, shooting a low right aimed square at her crotch, leaving my other hand a bit wide of my body, enough of an opening to tempt her. She surprised me by lifting her leg, taking the punch on her thick thigh; now she had her chance to counterpunch me, and my wife’s fist flew between my legs, hitting my dick. She caught it on the side, and although I’d braced myself for the worst, she just kind of smacked it sideways.
“Did that hurt?!” she yelled, dropping her hands. “Are you okay? Can you keep going?”
“Ahhh… that didn’t hurt too bad. Looks like it doesn’t do much if I’m naked. Maybe -”
She threw a second punch, this one aimed at my balls. Her bare fist smashed into my nutsack and I went over backwards with a gurgling, strangled moan, hitting the floor on my side, cupping my crotch; I was helpless with pain, gasping air and trying not to throw up from the shock. My caring wife rolled me onto my back, jumped in the air and landed square with her ass on my face, half knocking me out; I was barely conscious as my nose went up her sweaty buttcrack, which was an act of mercy as it distracted me from the pain in my crotch.
I think she yelled that if I couldn’t get her off before she came on my face she’d win, but this part of the fight is a little fuzzy. I do remember her switching position so that her crotch was over my nose and mouth, and she started rubbing her pussy over my face. She pulled my hands off my balls, slamming my wrists to the mats to keep my arms trapped. For a little bit all I could do was lay there under her recovering as my wife rode my face; I knew she usually needed some clitoral stimulation to climax, and with both hands occupied in holding me down, it was taking her a bit. Before she finished I was able to start thinking about escaping. First I tried lifting my arms, but there was no way this was going to get me anywhere; in addition to my wife being stronger than me, she had all the leverage and I had none.
What else could I do? My legs were free; I lifted them off the ground, curling them over my body, trying to get them into Gabby’s armpits so I could fling her off. This wasn’t easy working blind, and my first two attempts failed; on the third, my wife released my wrists to grab my ankles. I braced my hands on her hips and heaved her off me to the left. She went off with a yelp of surprise, and I got up, panting and a little woozy; it hadn’t been easy to breathe under there, and I’d gotten a facefull of my wife’s musk. I’d also gotten quite hard; both me and Gabby were quite aroused, and as she climbed to her feet I wondered if it was time for another erotic attack. The same thought must’ve crossed her mind as we closed and she made an obvious grab for my crotch. I intercepted her wrists, bringing her up short, but only for a second; she managed to dart forward, smoothly dropping to her knees and catching my cock in her mouth. I froze as she started sliding her lips up and down my shaft, incapacitated by the pleasure my wife was inflicting on me.
I think if she’d had my wrists instead of the other way around I might’ve lost right here, but I managed to come to my senses and used my grip on her wrists to pull her forward, gagging her for a second. Instinctively she pulled her head back, and I lifted my right knee up into her chin from below. I could hear her teeth smack together and she slumped backwards, stunned; I released her wrists and she fell onto her back, rubbing her jaw.
I moved to finish my wife - we were both too tired and turned on for the fight to last much longer, and it was time to put her away. I dived between her legs, pushing her thighs apart, getting my tongue into her pussy. Before I could get my hands in there to work her clit Gabby slammed her thick legs together, locking me into a headscissor. She started squeezing, my head feeling like it was going to implode. I still had my hands free, and I blindly linked them underneath her back, the idea being to lift her off the ground, then slam her back down and free myself.
It was a good idea - heck, it had already worked once - but this time it was too late in the fight for me to pull this off; I couldn’t get Gabby off the ground. My limbs shook with effort as I tried and failed to lift her. My second attempt was weaker, and before I could manage a third I collapsed on my chest. Gabby squeezed me just a bit longer, which was all she needed to leave me half-conscious as she slowly unhooked her legs.
“Think I got you, babe,” she crowed. “Watch this, I’m going to do my finishing move!”
“Your what?” I gasped as she got to her feet and yanked me up with her. Her answer was a hard kick to my stomach, bending me over, pulling my left arm up around the back of her neck, then looped her own left arm around my head. She grabbed my cock - still rock hard even after the punishment she’d inflicted it on me - and used it as a lever to lift me up completely vertical. I barely missed the overhead light, hanging there for one terrifying second as the blood rushed to my head, then she slammed me down to the floor, turning as she did so; my back hit the mat with shattering force, then my wife landed on me with all of her weight not a second later, leaving me gasping in helpless shock underneath her. Her hand was still on my dick - still hard, amazingly - and she started giving me a quick reverse handjob (her grip on the base of my shaft instead of the tip). She must’ve mistaken my body twitching as some kind of continued resistance.
“Still haven’t had enough, huh?!” she roared. “This will end it!” She switched positions, laying on top of me, draping her heavy tits over my face, trapping my cock between her soft, thick thighs. She finished me in this position; I couldn’t even turn my head to try and breathe, just gasping in whatever air I could as she humped me with her legs. “Hey, babe, do you like trash talk? Look, you’re going to lose just to my legs; I can make you shoot without even using my pussy!” This prompted one last helpless spasm of resistance, but to my embarrassment I’m not sure my wife even noticed as she kept stroking my cock between her thighs. After that, I lost track of time a little bit; I don’t know how long she worked me over like this, but I can’t imagine it was long. Between her earlier stroking and the maddening soft pressured of her thighs sliding up and down my shaft, I don’t think I lasted long at all before she made me cum, my hips bucking up as I shot my load into the air, splattering her thighs and my tip with sticky semen. Her hips slowly came to a stop, just holding my now extra sensitive dick between her legs, then started squeezing. I screamed into her tits as she ramped up the pressure, her thighs squeezing a little extra spurt out of me before she realized she was hurting me badly and stopped.
“So, you done?” she leaned up, tucking some stray hair behind her ear. “Give up?”
“Yeah,” I croaked.
“How’s your cock feeling?” She gave me another squeeze, much more gentle this time.
“Empty.”
“Good,” she giggled. “So, I won, right? You know what I’m gonna do now?” I shook my head and she smiled. “Well, you don’t have to do anything but lay there and look pretty.” She started slowly sliding up my body until she was straddling my face, slowly lowering her pussy over my mouth, reaching down to brace herself with one hand on the top of my head. Her other hand started playing with her clit as she began to grind her pussy over my face. Like her finishing me I lost track of time a little bit; she was pretty warmed up from my earlier work, so I don’t think it was that long before she hit her climax, pressing the back of my head into the mats as she fucked my face. Finished, she rolled off me; we had a quick hug, then got showered and settled down to review the fight footage to get ready for the real thing.
